


Metaphorical S'mores

by Jabberwocky (Sisterwives)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Facials, Frottage, M/M, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-03
Updated: 2011-12-03
Packaged: 2017-10-26 20:26:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/287493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sisterwives/pseuds/Jabberwocky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave Strider decides to jump his roommate’s bones one day. This results in ironic metaphors, quips that go right over Tavros’s head, and rubbing one out on each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Metaphorical S'mores

There was nothing more dangerous than a bored Strider. Dave was bored when he played Sburb all those years ago and very nearly contributed to the demise of his planet. He was bored when he pissed in Egbert’s apple juice and tricked him into drinking it.

And he was bored when he made the executive decision to jump his roommate’s bones.

“Hey, Tav,” he said casually. “Want to play a game?”

Tavros looked up from his spot on the floor where he was rereading his dog-eared copy of “The Complete Adventures of Pupa Pan” for what had to be the millionth time. His face lit up in excitement, and he earnestly answered, “Ohh, yes, most definitely!” He put down the book and began rummaging around in one of the crates that served as their makeshift coffee table. “I can introduce you to Fiduspawn! It’s, uh, really a whole lot of fun, even if you like to make fun of me, for playing a children’s card game.”

“No, man, not that kind of game.”

Tavros looked up at where Dave was reclining on the couch, confusion written all over his face.

“Let’s play a love game,” he recited, keeping his face perfectly blank and devoid of emotion.

“Uhh, what do you mean by ‘love game’? Is that like ‘Kiss or Cull,’ because, I never really liked that game…”

“Do you want love or you want fame?”

“Oh, that’s an easy choice— love, of course. Now, uh, do I ask you if you want love or something else?”

“Are you in the game?”

“Dave, I don’t think I know what you are talking about.”

Dave let out a heavy sigh that usually meant that Tavros was missing the obvious once again. “Never mind, bro. My music tastes are clearly too ironic for you to comprehend.” He sat up and grabbed the bull by the horns, so to speak, tugging Tavros up into his lap. “Let’s put it this way, I want to have some fun, this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.” His eyes flicked down to Tavros’s lap, and he looked back up at him with a raised eyebrow. “Get the picture?”

Comprehension dawned, and Tavros grinned devilishly, sharp teeth glinting with mischief. “Oh, that kind of game. And, I think that snacks are necessary, for this game. I would recommend s’mores, with certain of your bodily fluids serving as the marshmallow ingredient. I, uh, will provide the fudge.”

“Dude, is that really your idea of coming onto me?” Dave paused. “…Bad choice of words. Although I wouldn’t say no to— The point is, you suck at pick-up lines.”

Tavros opened his mouth to protest, but Dave wasn’t having any of it and chose to instead push Tavros onto his back on the couch and capture his lips in a messy kiss.

Despite being taken by surprise, Tavros wrapped his arms around Dave’s neck and returned the kiss with equal fervor, his tongue darting past Dave’s lips and stealing into his mouth. Before Dave could reciprocate, however, the troll teasingly pulled back. Dave exhaled in a little huff of exasperation and amusement and nipped his lower lip in retaliation.

He pulled away before long, shifting his attention to nibble on Tavros’s collarbone while he struggled to one-handedly undo his pants.

“But, it worked on you,” Tavros mumbled, smiling as he buried his nose in Dave’s remarkably soft blond hair. He couldn’t help but inhale, breathing in the strangely spicy scent of Dave’s shampoo.

Dave reared back and looked over the rims of his shades. “Are you _sniffing my hair_?” he asked incredulously before discarding his shades entirely, carefully placing them on the coffee table.

“Is that, uh, not okay?”

“You are such a little freak,” Dave said, but there was a hint of amusement in his voice. He took the opportunity to sit back and tug off his shirt before sprawling on top of Tavros, resting his chin on his stomach as he began unbuttoning the troll’s button-down shirt.  He splayed his fingers across Tavros’s smooth grey chest and slid his hands over his shoulders to remove the obstructing article of clothing.

Dave unceremoniously tugged Tavros’s pants off in record time, shucking them to the floor to join the rest of the rumpled clothing. He couldn’t help but snort at the sight of Tavros’s underwear, which was patterned with fairies. “Nice, man. Real ironic.”

Tavros squirmed uncomfortably. “I, uh, never really considered it to be ironic, or anything like that,” he whispered. 

“That’s ironic too,” Dave said, but he was too distracted by the sight of what Tavros was packing to really pay attention to what he was saying anymore.

Tavros was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable with the way Dave was wordlessly staring at him, not to mention a tad self-conscious. But Dave’s hand, warm and tantalizing, was skimming down his torso, and Tavros held his breath as it came to rest on his upper thigh.

Dave traced the outline of his bone bulge through his panties before leaning down to mouth at it. His tongue pressed against the fabric, hot and wet against Tavros’s shaft. Through the strange taste of clean cotton, he could taste the sweetness of Tavros’s pre-cum, which naturally lubricated his bone bulge when he got aroused. The pad of his thumb lazily circled higher and higher up the inside of his thigh until it reached the seam of Tavros’s underwear. Dave ran his thumb along the outline of his crotch as he licked his way up the length of the troll’s still clothed bone bulge. The fabric was quickly becoming sodden thanks to the combination of Dave’s saliva and Tavros’s pre-cum (and my _god_ , trolls produced a lot of it). The thin, wet, white cotton was translucent, and it molded to Tavros’s form, making his already-hard bulge even more prominent.  Dave let out a sharp hiss of desire and bended his head so that he could run his tongue along the stark outline of his bulge.

Tavros gasped at the sensation, his hands flitting from the couch to Dave’s hair to his own abdomen. He was desperate to touch himself, desperate for more contact, desperate for more, more, _more_.  

Dave seemed to be just as hungry for more stimulation, if the way he was subtly rubbing his body against the couch was any indication. He pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the tip of Tavros’s head, flattening his tongue and sucking gently before moving to grab the waistband of his underwear with his teeth.

He had every intention of removing them with just his mouth, but it wasn’t as smooth a move as he intended it to be, and he ended up getting frustrated and resorted to using his hands to pull them off. Tavros giggled a little nervously and helped him slide the underwear off his legs. Dave frowned. His not-so-suave move was the exact antithesis of cool, and if it had been anyone else but Tavros, it would have been incredibly awkward and a complete mood-killer. But, well, this was his roommate, the guy who he shared an apartment with in the complex where several of their mutual friends lived. When moving into their apartment and unpacking their possessions, both of them exhausted all of the embarrassment that they possessed. Dave had accidentally found Tavros’s bucket, which was lovingly decorated with a red heart, on the same day that Tavros stumbled upon Dave’s vibrating dildo.

Granted, neither one of them understood why the other was so mortified, but the fact remained that there was nothing else that could even come close to the awkwardness of that situation.

Besides, Dave couldn’t bring himself to care about being uncool when Tavros was sitting naked in front of him. Suddenly consumed by a burning desire, he didn’t even bother to fully take off his pants and simply shimmied them down his thighs to expose his groin. He stretched out on the couch, smirking as he beckoned for Tavros to straddle him, using his other hand to leisurely stroke himself through his boxers. “Come on, Toreadork, ride me like you’re the last goddamn bullfighter on the planet.”

Tavros didn’t bother to inform him that that wasn’t how bullfighting worked; he had enough sense not to look a gift horse in the mouth. Instead, he hesitated for a split second before flashing him a dazzling, pointy-teethed grin and climbing onto his lap.

Dave planted his hands firmly on Tavros’s ass, dragging him forward so that he was sitting on his stomach. He reluctantly removed one hand so that he could fiddle with his boxer shorts, pushing them down so that the fabric rested just beneath his balls. He took his exposed cock and slid it between the troll’s cheeks, snickering as Tavros let out a little whimper.

The heat was rising in Tavros’s face, and he squirmed uncomfortably, but _oh god, that felt good_. Pleasure won out over embarrassment, and he shifted so that his bone bulge was grinding up against Dave, who let out a hiss of satisfaction.

Encouraged, Tavros grew bolder, his hips moving in a circular motion experimentally as he rubbed up against him, trying to relieve some of that burning _want_ that was making his bone bulge throb so keenly.

He settled into a rhythm, a beat by which Dave could keep time.  He rocked back and forth on his lap so that Dave’s cock was gliding over his nook, which was dripping wet with arousal.

With Tavros grinding down into his lap, Dave was being effectively driven out of his mind, but he needed more contact. He looped his arms around Tavros’s neck, tugging him down into a sloppy kiss.

Tavros covered Dave’s body with his own, pressing flush up against him and shifting his weight so that he could pin Dave’s hands over his head. Dave laughed breathlessly into his mouth and playfully bit his lip to show him what he thought of the idea. With his arms restricted, he spread his knees and hooked his legs around Tavros’s waist to draw him closer.

Their bodies rubbed up against each other as they kissed, and Tavros took advantage of the fact that he had Dave pinned to the ground. Taking charge for once in his life, he pushed Dave’s knees further apart and repositioned himself so that the shaft of his bone bulge was rubbing up against the sweet spot between Dave’s entrance and his balls.

Dave let out a distinctly uncool noise, jerking in response to the pleasurable sensation. Tavros grinned like a kid on Christmas morning and slid further up his body, reaching one hand beneath him. He curled his fingers and found that same tender bundle of nerves and pressed against the spot, kneading it.

“Oh, fuck, Tav, no,” Dave spluttered, the tips of his ears burning bright red. “Back the fuck off right now, before I lose it. You’re not finishing me off now. Not until I’m ready.”

Tavros made a dissenting noise but reluctantly withdrew his hand, deciding that he would have to try using it to make Dave squirm at a later date.  He settled for pressing their naked chests together and persistently rolling his hips forward. They fell into harmony, bodies moving up and down in sync.

Tavros moaned and wormed a hand between them, taking both his bone bulge and Dave’s cock in one hand and began pumping. It was messy and uncoordinated, as the amount of pre-cum that was leaking out of him made it slippery and wet, but it was somehow gloriously perfect despite its sloppiness.

Dave’s breathing was ragged, chest heaving and head tipped back in ecstasy. He thrust up, too far gone to care that he was essentially humping Tavros’s hand. His toes dug into the cushions as he arched up off the couch, biting back a whimper. Above him, Tavros was a mess, falling to pieces as he neared his climax.

The pressure quickly became too much for him to bear, and he was panicking as he tried to hold back, tried to keep his body from betraying him. “Dave,” he gasped, putting a hand on Dave’s chest and lifting up off his body. “Where— where’s your pail?”

“No pail here, bro,” Dave said, trying to keep his voice steady and impassive even as his erection was throbbing for release. “I don’t subscribe to your freaky troll fetishes for cleaning objects.”

“But— but… where, uh, where do I release my genetic material?”

“Allll over this fine piece of man meat,” Dave said, gesturing at the entire span of his body.

“W-what?”

“Give me some of that fudge you promised, man. No backing out now.” Dave opened his mouth, his tongue ready and waiting.

Tavros whimpered, and the sight of Dave, with his shades off and his eyes half-closed, a faint pink blush staining his cheeks, and his mouth looking so inviting was too much for him to handle. He overcame his cultural inhibitions and let his genetic material spill out onto Dave, splattering across his chest and his outstretched tongue, and Dave positively _shivered_ as he bathed in the substance.

When Tavros finished, he was panting from the intensity of it all, shaking like a leaf in the aftermath. When he came down from the euphoric high, he opened his eyes to find Dave just sitting there, not moving an inch. Tavros chewed on his thumbnail out of anxiety.

“Uh, was, was that okay?” he asked nervously.

Dave opened his own eyes, and Tavros could see that he was breathing just as hard, his chest rising and falling heavily. He licked his lips and swallowed before fixating Tavros with a _look_.

“Was that okay?” he repeated. “That shit was more than okay. This is the proverbial fudge to my marshmallow, the peanut butter to my fluff, the chocolate icing on the cake. Dave Strider, meet Tavros Nitram’s inordinate amount of troll cum. Hate to be the one to break it to you, bro, but we’re running away to Cancun to elope. In fact, you could even say that we were _meant to be._ Fated, even.”

“You mean like, uh, matesprits? Because, I think I’d rather be your matesprit, and not just my genetic material, because that’s kind of weird—“

“Shh, Tav, you’re ruining the moment.” Dave waved away Tavros’s words. “Just let me sit here and bask in how irredeemably attractive I find you to be at this moment.” With that, he threw his head back for maximum ironic basking purposes.

 Tavros hadn’t managed to tear his eyes away from Dave the entire time that he was spewing one of his monologues. How could he, when Dave was naked in front of him, covered in his genetic material? He was overwhelmed by how hot he found it and fidgeted until, with his voice full of unconcealed hope, he managed to gasp out, “Uh, um, can—can you, uh, do the same, to me?”

Dave looked up at him with a smirk, and there was no mistaking the look of lust in his eyes that said that he wasn’t done, that he hadn’t’ quite reached his peak yet. “I’m getting there, bro. Can’t have a s’more without any marshmallow, am I right? But you’re gonna have to move if you want a taste of this sweet, sweet cream filling. Oh, and just as a warning, humans don’t come even half as much as you trolls do with your freakish magic rainbow juice. Jesus dick.”

“Oh, I, uh, don’t really care, how much genetic material you produce,” Tavros said earnestly as he wriggled off of Dave and lay back on the couch. “I just, er, find it really, really, uh, hot, maybe…”

Dave smirked as he straddled Tavros, sitting on his chest. “Damn straight, it’s hot. This shit is so goddamn hot, you’re gonna need ten buckets of ice to put out these sick fires.”

Tavros could help but blush. “Dave, that’s, uh, kind of really most definitely extremely lewd and inappropriate imagery…” Granted, the position that he was in at the moment was even more lewd, but he couldn’t help but get flustered over Dave’s scandalous choice of metaphors.

“I know, that’s why I said it.” He languidly slid a hand up his chest, taking his time as he covered his fingers in Tavros’s genetic material. With his fingers slick and slippery, Dave wrapped them around himself. He let out a soft, breathy sigh, and his eyes fluttered closed as he began to pump his hand up and down.

Tavros could feel his excitement rising as Dave increased his pace, movements growing sloppier and more frantic until he finally came, hot white cum spurting across Tavros’s face and into his waiting mouth.

Tavros shivered in delight and reached up to wipe away some of the mess, sticking his finger into his mouth and sucking it clean. He opened his eyes to find Dave looking down at him in beatification, his breathing labored and a small, content smile curving the corners of his mouth. “You’re adorable,” he stated matter-of-factly.  

Tavros grinned from ear to ear and grabbed Dave in a bear hug, rolling over so that he was stuck between the back of the couch and Tavros’s embrace.

“Oh, Christ, Tav, what are you doing?” Dave squawked, trying to squirm away from Tavros’s clutch of death. “You are not hugging me when we’re both sticky and gross. No. Not cool.”

“But, I’m just so happy right now,” Tavros said, burying his face in the crook of Dave’s neck with a grin.

Dave relented. “Okay, fine. Two minutes of cuddling because I know you can’t resist my dashing good looks and charm, even when I’m covered in your weird troll cum. Then this hot piece of ass is getting in the shower, and you’re coming with me.”

Tavros just giggled and squeezed him tighter around the waist.


End file.
